chimericality

I have made it a point to enjoy this holiday to the fullest, because it's going to be the last time I'll be able to have a bit of fun without feeling guilty. So I have come up with a list, because it is always fun to do such things up.

1) Go shopping several times and buy loads of crap I might need but won't ever use
2) Wear make-up when I feel like it, instead of worrying if I'm "old" enough to
3) Take photos of anything and everything
4) Read.a lot.
5) Finish watching all those random shows and movies I started months ago
6) Write! All those ideas I keep having and never actually do something about
7) Attempt to relearn German (atleast, conversationally.)
8) Learn to strum more songs on the guitar
9) Ditto Piano.
10) SAT PREP COURSE
11) Update LJ skin and profile (It is disgusting as of now, I've realised.)
12) Ponder about what to do in life.
13) Learn something new everyday
14) Find a new, exciting hobby
15) Think about a service project I actually might be interested in
16) EXERCISE
17) Most of all, end this year with absolutely no regrets.

I know there's still a month and half to go before the year ends, but somehow this already feels like a pre-new year resolution of sorts. Graduation does that to you I suppose.

Right now I'm floundering about, and not doing Chem like I'm supposed to be doing. 

Also, because I have no life, I shall post COOL ( yes, REALLY! ) CHEM JOKES, HAHAHA.

A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Bunsen! my flame! I melt whenever I see you" said the ice. The Bunsen burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going through".

A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Great Day Rates,  Even Better NO₃^-'s

Two molecules bump into each other while walking down the street.
         1^st molecule:   "I'm sorry. Are you okay?"
         2^nd molecule:  "No! I lost an electron!"
         1^st molecule:   "Are you sure?"
         2^nd molecule:  "Yes... I'm positive."

 

Q:  What's the most important lesson in chemistry?
A:  Never lick the spoon.

BUT OHHHHHHHH YAYYYYY I CAN'T WAIT FOR TOMORROW, IT IS THE LAST DAY OF EXAMS, EVER. HOW COOL IS THAT

I have a whole list of things to do, places to go, dreams to fulfill and such.

On another note, bio was crap, Physics normal-ish, History hard to tell and Math was actually not that bad.

I'm just glad they're all over, anyhow.

And now, for the final leap. 

Ok for some strange reason I feel all weird. confused. Muddled.

Strange not because this is unusual, but because the root cause is not the fact that my EYAs are in 5 days and I still have loads to study.

It adds on to it, though.

Somehow, I've always felt that everything I've been doing so far in my life has been centered around other people - I rarely do things for myself, by myself.

It's always been about what person A is doing and what I can do to ensure person A and B get along and whether everyone's happy, blah blah blah.

So now that I've finally began to stand up for myself or in Miao's words,"grown a backbone" , I feel...odd.

Out of my element.

But in a good way. It makes me feel independent, makes me feel more assertive and ambitious, as though I could do anything I wanted to, if i'd only set my mind to it. Everytime I make a decision these days, whether for myself or for others, whether big or small,  I get that glowing sense of accomplishment, that feeling of pride associated with knowing you've made the right choice and you're going to stick by it, no matter what.

That's how I've been trying to live the past few months. Making decisions without having a safety net or back-up plan, taking risks and making things happen instead of watching or worse, wondering what happened.

Just that... these past few days have also brought up several questions regarding the future; What I'm going to do when I grow up, how i'm going to do that, what college I want to attend and so on.

I'd always thought I'd become a doctor, a gynaecologist or pediatrician and go on to serve patients in some poor village in India.

But now I don't know why, I've suddenly lost my purpose in life - it's like I can't decide, can't make up my mind - heck, I don't even know what I want anymore.

All I know is the type of person - who I want to be when I grow up. And the things I'd like to do for the world

Other than that, I'm basically just as clueless as the next person.

But first, regarding the whole priorities thing, I've come to understand that no one's going to make sure that you get what you deserve in life. You, and only you, have to ensure that all the pieces are in place to gain that recognition and reputation that's so important to universities everywhere.

Because everybody else is too focused on making sure they get what they want. That they get the best awards, trophies and scholarships. And the only way to achieve what you want as well is to try and beat them for it. And beat them damn well too.

Cliche as it sounds, God does help those who help themselves.

Hence, from now on, if I'm upset or angry about something you've just said, I'm going to let you know right then and there. I've finally realised it's no good to keep quiet just to end the argument because yeah, it might end the argument then, but eventually those negative feelings will resurface later on, and often at the wrong time too.

I'm going to live my life, my way now. And nobody's going to stop me from doing so.

Nothing shall hold me back.

Sorry, but that's just the kind of competitive society I've had to face for the past 4 years.

It's just like evolution. Natural Selection. Survival of the fittest and extinction of the weak.

To be as fit as fit can be -  and even fitter than that -  is my next goal.

On another note, I think the late night/mid morning does something to me, I find myself unable to hold back all these latent feelings. Haha, it's as though their optimum time is at 2 in the morning. No one can say I didn't study physics now, I've even started using thermodynamic terms in my blogposts.

Not that I regret posting any of this. Though I do feel a tad annoyed about the excessive use of 'I's and 'me's. God,  it makes me sound so self-obsessed. Well, heck, back to bio now.

Well, today was a long longggggggg day. Had History(which I'm going to miss terribly) and Physics in the morning. Lunch at Carl's Junior with the gang and Math tuition afterwards. Bleagh slacked off for 2 hours earlier so it looks like another all-nighter for me, whee waah whoo.

But first, a meme!

( Stole it from Janne, it's a harry potter one =) )

:D

Hey Jude by my friends John, Paul, Ringo and George.

Monday

07:55 – 10:20 Core Lessons

GET OUT OF SCHOOL TIME :D

12:55 – 14:55 GP Prep D336

14:55 – 16:55 Pharmaceutical Chemistry D449 & Lab1

Tuesday

07:55 – 10:20 Core Lessons

RECESS :D

10:55 – 12:55 Pax-Americana D333

LUNCH :D

13:25 – 16:25 GP prep S336

Wedneday

07:55 – 10:20 Core Lessons

AND THAT’S IT!

Thursday

07:55 – 10:20 Core Lessons

RECESS :D

10:55 – 12:55 Pax-Americana D333

LUNCH :D

13:25 – 16:25 Pharmaceutical Chemistry D449 & Lab1

Friday

07:55 – 10:20 Core Lessons

AND THAT’S IT!

Sidenote: I LOVE MY NEW PENGUIN EMOTICON.

I LOVE LIVEJOURNAL I LOVE LIVEJOURNAL I LOVE LIVEJOURNAL.


Just felt like saying that.